I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
