Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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