All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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