cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize