She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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