bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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