i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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