Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
