So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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