I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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