I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
