the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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