12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My dick has a subreddit
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
