It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
