i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
