at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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