before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
