I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize