i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
