i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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