So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
farters have to be the big spoon...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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