hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
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dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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