I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
