Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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