thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
