I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
sex in a hospital.. check
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
