Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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