The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
