We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
