i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
