So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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