we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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