What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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