MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's blow job season.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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