So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
