you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The Olympian is in my bed
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
