idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
