He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
