I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
