...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
