Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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