Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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