all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
