if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
