I should be sponsored by Trojan
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
