i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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