i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
