and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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