Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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