i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
