he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
