i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
