You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
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If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
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Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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