8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
