It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize