You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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