Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
