Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize