Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
