So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
