Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
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The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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