i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
