You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
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Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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