last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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