i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
