she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
